Sunday

"This is to every bad decision that led us here. This is to all the embarrassing things we might have said. But we owned up to it, and we grew."

"The whole, 'I'm not like the other girls' thing… this 'cool girl' religion. What even is that? Who are the gatekeepers of 'cool' anyway? Are they all men? Are they women that we've put on top of an unreachable pedestal?"

Wednesday

hey it's me again.

have you sat one day, and thought about things, and started to evaluate your life, mainly as young adult in your early 20s, and realized, that, there are lots of things you wish you never did?

well, i have.

and it's plenty. plenty of things i wish i never did. and it got me shook. and cringed. and at some points upset with myself.

and the way i realized, the way it came across my mind was so casual, so easy, like i was somebody else wondering why would someone do that.

and then i got me like.. i was so sorry. i am genuinely sorry and i wish i never did that. to myself, to everyone, everyone who had to deal with what i had done. it felt like i just wanted to call and meet everyone and say sorry and hug them, even it's for the things they no longer remember.

it made me wanted to pull back, from anyone, from anything, from the life catalog everbody made in tiny squares. for people to less notice about me so they would forget me, so they would be less cringed. and then im going to fix myself, do a better life, do second chances i never asked for but created on my own, until one day, they will stumble upon me, and get to see that i have changed, and it's not a promise, it's a fact, and that i have became a new person who won't hurt anyone, a new person they can trust. because what have i been thinking this whole time while people got to see me unaware of my own shits? i should have facepalmed and realized i didnt deserve the world.


so thank you, thank you to every person who has accepted me for who i was, or who i am, for what i have done and still do, and for being such wonderful friend with big heart for.. for never getting tired or if so for bearing with me and all of my shits.

but then also to those people who were daring themselves to let me know that i was not supposed to do the things i was supposed not to. you are very precious.

so on behalf of myself, my shits, and my will to be better, i would like to earnestly, genuinely apologize for everything i had done i wish i never had, that hurt or upset anyone. if you happen to read this, i mean it. if you dont forgive me, it's ok. but i hope if we meet again, you would see me as a better person. for everyone. and for myself.




things i really wanted to tell and share since the new year's eve.

Friday

the thing is, my friend, to keep being yourself and
doing what you really love wholeheartedly. it doesnt
always have to be the best of everything, the greatest
and all but sincere,

because every single thing you do with your heart

will light up one more star in the sky

that slowly, you can see a way unfolded in front of you,

even in the darkest of times.


_

Tuesday

Sesajian di Jalan

Beberapa titik jalan di sekitar kota Yogyakarta sempat digegerkan dengan adanya penemuan sesaji. Titik-titik jalan tersebut seperti, pelengkung wijilan, jalan panembahan, Pelengkung Gading, perempatan Wirobrajan dan sekitar Kota Baru. Hal ini dibuktikan dengan beredarnya foto yang menangkap wujud sesaji di depan pelengkung Wijilan. Pria yang ber inisial EK ini secara tidak sengaja menemukan sajen ketika hendak pulang, setelah seharian berkeliling mengantarkan penumpang. Pengemudi ojek online ini, tidak cukup kaget dengan penemuan sesaji di sekitar jalan yang dilaluinya. “saya ndak terlalu kaget kok mas, tapi kok yo onok wangi dupane barang” yang ditemui ketika tidak sengaja berhenti untuk mengabadikan momen tersebut.

(Pelengkung Wijilan, tempat sesaji diletakan)

Sesaji, memang erat dikaitkan dengan konteks bahasa rasa syukur atas limpahan rejeki dari Tuhan Yang Maha Esa. Adapun hal ini juga sebagai ungkapan untuk menolak dari datangnya bencana atau melindungi dari marabahaya. Manusia memiliki caranya sendiri untuk dapat mengungkapkan rasa syukur dan kegelisahannya kepada semesta. Istilah sesaji ini, memang sudah tidak asing di telinga kita. Sejak jaman dahulu, bahasa ini ada dan memang diturunkan dari nenek moyang kita hingga menjadi sebuah tradisi. Tradisi ini yang sebenarnya sudah menepi secara perlahan karena arus modernisasi.

Melihat peristiwa ini sebenarnya juga menjadi menarik untuk dikaitkan dengan konteks Yogyakarta hari ini. Kota yang terkenal dengan tradisi budayanya ini, kini dihadapkan dengan kebudayaan masyarakat milenial. Yang mana kondisi masyarakatnya sudah sangat berkembang pesat sejalan dengan dengan perkembangan teknologi. Hal-hal yang demikian pun, akhirnya tidak lagi akrab di kehidupan mereka. Jika masih ada pun, hanya orang tua atau kalangan tertentu yang masih melestarikan ritual ini.