August 16th. Alone.

I've just wondered. Either i am going older or the time goes too fast, it drives me nowhere and since it's haunting me, i say i am totally sick.

I used to hate routines. It sounds a-fucking-big-no and boring. Like i know what im doing and i know what to do the next day or in other words i know how to die with a boredom feels. I love new things. if there isn't, i love surprises. I always tried to come up and smile to those challenges or chances. But i tell you, it's not what it seems now.

3 weeks of holiday and i thought i could have anything at once. I do. Procrastination.

Week one. Sleep is the best word to define my first seven days. No one has called me or came around to have me outta home. But the funny part, everyone seemed want me there when i had to go to Jogja.
"I'm going, i'm not, i'm going, i'm not" i conviced myself. Then i went there and got that high fever for the half of the week. PS. With no books handed home.

Went back home and picked Matthew from bus stt. The next 3 days labeled with  fun. Nasi padang, Angkringan bebek, angkringan kopi, buryam, nasgor jumbo and all of the silly yet sweet things left... then I had to drive him back to the same bus stt, seeing him leaving. I would go back dorm and had my bodies bathed when it happened (high fever again) then mom delayed my dormcoming. Matthew in another side was on his way to surabaya when i called him to tell my delayed dep. He went back. A day more of  fun. We were having es teller, basket ball and playing it, a coffedate and the rest day staying home because of my fever. He was leaving this morning and here i am writing it alone.

I should have been in dormitory now, having my neat bed with done-duties. But look at me. Waiting mom come from office with overwarm body, alone. Feelingstupid and, to be honest, stressed and depressed.

I forget my dormlife. Am not even ready to go back. While.. i felt like i was dorm forever the night before i went home. But now, i felt forever home.


  1. Procastinating and being afraid of getting older are also everybody's despair, Saveera. We can make difference by not dwelling in them ;) I hope you have gotten better by now and been able to dig more Nasi Padang!

    Freedom & Its Owner -

  2. @Joshua: It surprised me that u left a footprint on my blog, really. And thank youu for the wishes :))