Don’t you know? If you just did and did the same position like I did to you to me, you're just be a more selfishchildey person with a very tiny brain than me. Or, you just don’t know who you really are cause you do what another person did, only for letting that person knows how it hurt. No?
He. Does.
Tuesday
kau.
Mengapa kau begitu nyata bagiku?
Sekali pun ku tak bisa menjamahmu, sekalipun kau ada.
Sekali pun ku tak pernah benar-benar memandangmu,
sekalipun kau selalu ada di sana untuk menungguku.
Sekalipun kau adalah yang selama ini kucari,
Sekali pun ku tak pernah mengerti siapakah engkau sebenarnya...
***
DAUN yang sudah menguning itu pun terlepas juga dari ranting yang selama ini telah menemani hidupnya selama puluhan tahun. Melayang di udara, berputar-putar sebentar tertiup angin, sebelum akhirnya jatuh dengan sedih di atas rumput tepi taman itu.
Saat itulah hidupnya harus berakhir.
Namun bukan inilah yang sebenarnya diinginkannya.
Sekalipun begitu, tersemat sebuah rasa bahagia yang sangat melegakan dalam hatinya...
Melihat dia tersenyum, melihat ia bahagia, hanya itulah yang masih sanggup diharapkannya sekarang. Biarpun harus mendongak, biarpun harus mengumpulkan seluruh sisa kekuatannya... Ia bahagia.
***
Tempat itu sunyi. Tidak ada tanda-tanda kehidupan di sana. Daun itu masih tergeletak tak bersuara di bawah pohon besar di taman itu.
Mungkin tak ada seorang pun yang mengerti ada sebuah ranting yang begitu kehilangan sesuatu yang amat dicintainya saat itu. Namun ia terlambat. Dirinya benar-benar telah terlambat. Yang dicintainya itu telah pergi untuk selamanya.
Hanya satu yang dapat dilakukannya sekarang. Dengan seluruh kerinduan yang tak akan terobati sampai kapan pun, ia berusaha melawan segenap keinginannya untuk menangis.
Seulas senyum tergantung di sana... Persembahan terakhirnya...
***
“Jika kau tua nanti, apa hal terakhir yang ingin kau lakukan?” tanya ranting pohon suatu hari.
“Aku... Aku hanya ingin tetap dapat berada di samping dia yang sangat aku cintai. Lalu setelah itu... barulah aku dapat pergi dengan damai. Mengapa tiba-tiba kau bertanya begitu? Aneh sekali.”
Ragu sejenak, ranting pun menambahkan, “Sepertinya kau yakin sekali. Bagaimana jika kau tidak dapat terus bersama dengan dia yang kau sebut-sebut itu?”
“Menurutmu begitu? Ya, kalau memang harus begitu... apa boleh buat, aku hanya bisa berharap dapat melihatnya bahagia untuk terakhir kalinya. Dengan begitu, aku pun ikut bahagia... Setidaknya, di akhir hidupku.”
vivid vivid
Shuuu ..
Kyik. Kyik.
Haha.
Caught myself woke up n took a bath early this morning.
I made the today’s preface by playing the whole Pee Wee Gaskins’ tracks from its three albums on shuffle!!! Yea feel so powerful today :D ..n, full of nostalgia.
Hm.. *nyum nyumm nyamm* mm with those coke, mm, soft drinks, and *nyam nyam* some yummy-yuppy-yumm toblerones,, today’s perfectly cheerful.
Kyik. Kyik.
Haha.
Caught myself woke up n took a bath early this morning.
I made the today’s preface by playing the whole Pee Wee Gaskins’ tracks from its three albums on shuffle!!! Yea feel so powerful today :D ..n, full of nostalgia.
Hm.. *nyum nyumm nyamm* mm with those coke, mm, soft drinks, and *nyam nyam* some yummy-yuppy-yumm toblerones,, today’s perfectly cheerful.
Thanks, God. I’m still alive. ..n, Vivid :))
coke-addict
.......
A lil coke-addicted had crushed my rooms:
Look at these out:
She did.
No. I lied.
I did.
beards?
Owwlritee.
Shuuuey.
Shu shu shu.
Shuu..
Last predawn I just went to sleep at 2am.
And todayyy. Today.today.today. my eyes opened.. n as always, the first thing I always see firstly after awoke is: The Beards.
The beards?
Really? Um, sounds like.. um, yea, fun-tastic.
NO.
It’s about Mr. Clock’s Beards.
Tuing..
8pm.
N as always, (not so always actually,cus it makes me ‘usually’ late when I go to school *blush*)so, as usual-ways, reflect, I opened my lappy n pin the green headset into the socket so here was I listened to my current-lovely songs. And it started with Summer Thrill from PWG. After 15 minutes, my soul had charged n i was ready to live the life. Yu-huu.. out from my room, I arrived at the living room. No one was there. I heard some voices from the second living room which is be located behind this first living room. Still standing here, suddenly I yelled.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMOMMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Yiihhaa! Hugs n kisses!
Haha :)
Surprisingly morning,
My home.
Shuuuey.
Shu shu shu.
Shuu..
Last predawn I just went to sleep at 2am.
And todayyy. Today.today.today. my eyes opened.. n as always, the first thing I always see firstly after awoke is: The Beards.
The beards?
Really? Um, sounds like.. um, yea, fun-tastic.
NO.
It’s about Mr. Clock’s Beards.
Tuing..
8pm.
N as always, (not so always actually,cus it makes me ‘usually’ late when I go to school *blush*)so, as usual-ways, reflect, I opened my lappy n pin the green headset into the socket so here was I listened to my current-lovely songs. And it started with Summer Thrill from PWG. After 15 minutes, my soul had charged n i was ready to live the life. Yu-huu.. out from my room, I arrived at the living room. No one was there. I heard some voices from the second living room which is be located behind this first living room. Still standing here, suddenly I yelled.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDMOMMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
Yiihhaa! Hugs n kisses!
Haha :)
Surprisingly morning,
My home.
another lil fam
Aha.
Sunday 26th Dec. Or, just say ‘yerterday’, I woke up n opened my eyes n see my cousins n their parents from Surabaya were here!! Watcha awwww.. :D
N it turned out that they came at the midnite. Haha.. how cool.
Hey. Btw. Yesterday my Auntie's birthday! Say, happy birthday auntieee!!!
Hey. Btw. Yesterday my Auntie's birthday! Say, happy birthday auntieee!!!
The last one who took a bath, I wore the dress from my Auntie, er, without any-mind.
So. Yea we went together to the Church, n it’s like a great coincidentally that today was The Holy-Family’s Day!!
Um, after got the Mass, we decided to look for some restaurant n having lunch together.
It was still 9pm so, there are many restaurants who didn’t open yet. Turn there, here, n around, so, at the end we just stopped @ Sweety-witty-Joglo.
Itadakimasu :)
Went home, and ap-pa-rent-lyyy, my auntie brought some outfits for me! Haha
But had no time to complete the dressing-up that day. Eww.. :(
At last, thanks for the red-velvet one, auntiie!! I love this one out sooo much.
awoke.
Wah saya mengkeret nih. Ternyata anak2 scm dengan tambahan Jolba jadi ke yogyakerte bareng. And I’m not. Such a lil bit.. ENVYYY!!! Shift. Alt. Ctrl. Shuhh!
Hooo… Apparently, its not a big deal probs kalo aku gak jadi liburan ke sana. Dikarenakan kalo ke sana cuma boleh kalo lebih dari 7 hari, dan keberangkatan baru direncanakan tanggal 24, kemudian di samping itu pula 24 + 7 = 31, padahal tanggal 31 saya kudu stand by di Ponorogo gara2 ada schedules manggung buat taon baru, so.saya. have to stuck in this home for welcoming the new year. And it also means, I have to through this holy-holiday without a holy poly lolypop, by not go to anywhere. Ewrr.
Nope.
Ada Denias: Senandung di atas awan yang masih mau mengisi kekosongan saya.
Yaa, sepertinya, ini sudah keseratus-sekian-kalinya saya menontonnya. Dan tetap gak terasa monotone loh. How? Ngakak, jumpalitan, merinding, dan nangisnya tetep : gak berubah. Selalu sama, gak berkurang sedikit pun ketajemannya menusuk-nusuk hati, jiwa, dan intuisi saya.
Well, walaupun udah segitu seringnya, tapi baru kali ini,
Muncul sebuah keinginan besar buat bangun dari tidur, yang selama ini membelenggu logika saya buat meladeni kompetisi dalam mencari ilmu dan nilai. Bok, sebenernya aku bisa!! Tapi ke mana? KE MANA aku selama 3 tahun ini? HA?
Pardon me.
I know I had to use my powers forward those realities of E-DU-CA-TION, oh, I mean, especially in exactas lesson. Hoohhh! Wake up! Wakwe up! I’d like to be more than this.
New born! New born!
Yea. I hope I can catch my remainder so far. Or I’ll regret my power losing.
And feel useless, and nothing.
a storytelling
So, here is the story telling you,
I born in 1996.
This is 2010 at the end.
So, I’m currently 14th from cutback of 2010 – 1996.
Um, actually,
My parent had been divorced since I was 4th year old.
And I’ve been living with my momma in the 10 years left. (rite? 14 – 4 = 10)
No, no. Absolutely I still connected with my daddy till now. And it’s not a trouble of me, for me.
Well, I don’t know whether I should tell ya or not, actually.. I should not have been met my dad’s parents. Before, now, and ever after. I think.
So, I just be familiar with my mom’s families. So far, yea.
Here my mom’s fams exist:
My mom’s parents, my grandma n grandpa, have 5 kids.
My mom is 2nd kid who also be the 1st female kids.
(Actually, there’s only 1 male who is, my mom’s brotha of my grandparents’)
The 1st, 4th, 5th kids has been livin with fun in Yogyakarta, but the 3rd kid is just stayin peaceful in Surabaya. And my mom? She chooses to be here n accompany their parents.
And I am the 1st grandchild.
I have 5 cousins which are females at all.
The 2nd n 3rd grandchildren are from the 3rd kid.
The 4th grandchild is from the 4th kid.
The 5th grandchild is from the 1st kid.
And the 6th is from the 5th kid.
Females are: anywhere.. Female’s mushrooming!
Ok, now, time for my grandparents’ brothers n sisters.
My GRANDMA, has 2 brothers n a sista.
My G-ma is the 1st kid.
The 2nd kid passed away 4 years ago when I am 10th. He has a female kid, who I posted at ….
The 3rd kid has a female kid n a male kid. The female has a same age with the 2nd kid’s daughter, n the male has a same age with me.
The 4th kid has 2 female kids. And the youngest.also.has.a same age with me..
SO. I recently told u bout my mom’s cousins, rite?
Ok.
Just based in this story,, how many females exist? And how bout the male?
There are: 19 females n 9 males. Ha-ha.
10 hits 1
I born in 1996.
This is 2010 at the end.
So, I’m currently 14th from cutback of 2010 – 1996.
Um, actually,
My parent had been divorced since I was 4th year old.
And I’ve been living with my momma in the 10 years left. (rite? 14 – 4 = 10)
No, no. Absolutely I still connected with my daddy till now. And it’s not a trouble of me, for me.
Well, I don’t know whether I should tell ya or not, actually.. I should not have been met my dad’s parents. Before, now, and ever after. I think.
So, I just be familiar with my mom’s families. So far, yea.
Here my mom’s fams exist:
My mom’s parents, my grandma n grandpa, have 5 kids.
My mom is 2nd kid who also be the 1st female kids.
(Actually, there’s only 1 male who is, my mom’s brotha of my grandparents’)
The 1st, 4th, 5th kids has been livin with fun in Yogyakarta, but the 3rd kid is just stayin peaceful in Surabaya. And my mom? She chooses to be here n accompany their parents.
And I am the 1st grandchild.
I have 5 cousins which are females at all.
The 2nd n 3rd grandchildren are from the 3rd kid.
The 4th grandchild is from the 4th kid.
The 5th grandchild is from the 1st kid.
And the 6th is from the 5th kid.
Females are: anywhere.. Female’s mushrooming!
Ok, now, time for my grandparents’ brothers n sisters.
My GRANDMA, has 2 brothers n a sista.
My G-ma is the 1st kid.
The 2nd kid passed away 4 years ago when I am 10th. He has a female kid, who I posted at ….
The 3rd kid has a female kid n a male kid. The female has a same age with the 2nd kid’s daughter, n the male has a same age with me.
The 4th kid has 2 female kids. And the youngest.also.has.a same age with me..
SO. I recently told u bout my mom’s cousins, rite?
Ok.
Just based in this story,, how many females exist? And how bout the male?
There are: 19 females n 9 males. Ha-ha.
10 hits 1
xmas nite :))
Yea… Happy Meyyi yummy Xmas!!!
With my Mam went to get a Christmas Mass at 9pm…
The road in front of Church are crushed by losta mocycs and cars so.. yea. Finally stood there as well as we could hahhah. Xmas nite!!! Yeayy! Oh, my momma was be a member of the choir tonight so I came to Jess (my friend) and ohh, she came without her fam apparently, so we’d decide to pass the night together.
Actually me in blacked-whitey-red outfit now, and I looked sooooo casualll not as always, and I’m sooooooooooooo happyyyy! Shuuuuuuuuuuuu…
There was a ‘theatrical move’ before the Mass started, so I took some shoots even I couldn’t see anything cus there were NO lamps shined except one-two of candles for the narrators…
A Light In the Dark:
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